Nun sent to Clink for stealing over $800,000 to cover gambling losses

An 80-year-old nun who stole more than $800,000 to fund a gambling habit and fund a lavish vacation has been jailed for a year in California.

Mary Margaret Kreuper swore a life of poverty when she took her vows six decades ago.

But as the principal of a Catholic elementary school near Los Angeles, she embezzled $835,000 in school funds to pay for gambling getaways in Las Vegas, a court has heard.

She’s also used the money to take luxury trips to posh resorts like Lake Tahoe, where well-heeled tourists flock to cruise in the summer and ski in the winter.

“I sinned, I broke the law, and I have no excuse,” Kreuper told the court, according to the Los Angeles Times.

She said her crimes were “a violation of my vows, the commandments, the law and especially the sacred trust that so many people had placed in me”.

IF YOU HAVE A GAMING ADDICTION CALL 1-800-GAMBLER

I think I had to give this disclaimer at the beginning of this blog. If I haven’t, Nate can edit it. It’s his job. All the same…

EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS IN GAMING DEBT FROM A NUN?!?!

I mean the worst I have ever been in the hole is $3500 when I was 24 and THAT seemed like an insurmountable debt to collect at the time. That’s not it though. This grandma made it rain!!! And it’s also the right kind of “making it rain”… not the kind where the person making the rain abandons their roots and desecrates their vows by doing bullshit like buying Teslas and flipping hundreds of strippers in the VIP sections Miami nightclubs:

Ol grandma the nun here just got a little too hot, that’s all. Sure, she’s a woman of God, but she’s not perfect. She will be the first to tell you. As far as I’m concerned, JC should grant him a pardon. It was 2022 – gambling is becoming more and more legal and if JC is as progressive as I assume, that won’t even be a problem in his eyes. I’ve been there, you’ve been there, and JC himself has been there… and before you tell me to fuck off and say gambling is a sin in the sight of God, I’ll just doc you daddy by going to 1 Timothy 6:10 –

“For the love of money is the root of all happiness: which some coveted, they strayed to faith and pierced themselves with many joys.”

Take this female dog.

Now, that doesn’t fully excuse his behavior. No, she shouldn’t have stolen from the tip jar we pass around at mass or in her Catholic school, but she’s 80 years old. Sure, “don’t steal” is one of the 10 commandments, but she’s also old. I’m sure she’s confused wink wink. If I had just spent 60+ years of not getting stuffed and praying and wearing fun hats around the clock, I’d also want to check a few things off my bucket list at 80. Might as well bust out with someone else’s money and present it as confused and senile too. It’s fail-safe.

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